Author:Paul Gilmartin

Obsessive & Secret World of Classical Musicians – Ben Turner

The Australian professional trombonist shares about the mental, emotional and logistical rigors of making a living as a classical musician and some insights into what drove him (and his peers) to such obsessive lengths. We get a peek behind the curtain into the dysfunction and sickness that can fester in such a high-pressure workplace and the poor coping mechanisms used by people who were raised to stuff emotions and just achieve to receive love. We touch on depression, anxiety, therapy, people pleasing, perfectionism, numbness and difficulty with intimacy. Turns out Mozart in the Jungle and Whiplash are not that far off.

Check out Ben’s podcast Double Depresso

Ben’s Twitter handle is @DepressoPodcast

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp online counseling. To experience a free week go to and fill out a questionnaire. Must be 18

This episode is sponsored by the Scott Alan Turner podcast. For a free audiobook and to hear the strategies he used to achieve financial independence and how he learned to handle and save money, go to

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To become a monthly donor (for as little as $1/month) and get free bonus content from Paul go to


The Worst Day of My Life – Rhonda Britten

Rhonda says “It took me 20 years to get thru that day” as she opens up about the event that changed her life forever when she was 14 years old.   She talks about how it changed her view of God, herself and the world around her, sending her on a path or self-destruction she barely survived until finally dealing with the pain and anger, eventually healing and finding her life’s purpose.

Follow Rhonda on twitter @RhondaBritten

Check out her websites for the course she mentioned

and her books

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp online counseling.  To get a free week go to

This episode is sponsored by Audible and their new audio program Where Should We Begin?  To check it out go to (Audible & Amazon Prime members listen for free)

This episode is sponsored by ZipRecruiter.  To post jobs for free go to

To become a recurring monthly donor to the podcast (and get free things from Paul like Paul’s video Tribute to Herbert go to and sign up for as little as $1/month.


Co-Dependency & Boundaries – Dr. Natalie Feinblatt

Dr. Feinblatt shares her experience as a therapist in working with co-dependent clients; how is co-dependency defined, what are some characteristics and how can it be treated or managed? She also shares about the importance of codependents learning about setting, enforcing and respecting boundaries.

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp online counseling. To experience a free week go to


In addition to her private practice Dr. Feinblatt also works at Westside Treatment, an intensive outpatient program for addiction & mental illness. Dr Feinblatt (who is also a BetterHelp therapist) can be reached at:

Consider helping out the show by making a donation. Either one-time, recurring monthly (you get freebies from Paul) or by donating frequent flyer miles.


My Lovely Wife in the Psych Ward – Mark & Giulia Lukach

Rarely do we talk about the spouse of someone battling a serious mental illness. Mark and Giulia had never heard of Bipolar I with psychosis until she broke from reality well into their marriage. Taped in front of an audience in Oakland, they bare their souls about the pain and confusion of her treatment and Mark realizing how much help spouses also need.

Check out Mark’s new book My Lovely Wife in the Psych Ward
Visit his website

This episode is sponsored by Blue Apron. To get your first 3 meals free with free delivery go to

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp online counseling. To experience a free week go to

Consider donating to the podcast with either a one-time donation, a recurring monthly donation (with free rewards) or donating frequent flyer miles.


Crack, Fights & Looking For Love – Charlie King

Paul’s support group friend has led an astoundingly painful life especially in regard to his mother (schizophrenia, depression), father (workaholic, hoarder), and sister (drug addict). He describes his descent into drugs (crack), emotionally damaged women and violence before finding the key to understanding his behavior.

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. To see if online counseling is right for you go to and experience a free week. Must be 18.

This episode is sponsored by ZipRecruiter. To post jobs for free to go

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Leaving Domestic Violence – Jenna Brister

The comedian/storyteller (The Moth) shares about her whirlwind 86 day romance that led to a Vegas wedding to a man who soon turned into a man she didn’t recognize, leaving her in fear for her life.  Jenna talks about her experience escaping from domestic violence and stalking, especially how family and friends reacted in terms of supporting her (or not).  She also shares about having to cut her mercurial, often emotionally abusive mother out of her life and the freedom she feels in learning how to stick up for herself even if it means disappointing someone.
Links for Jenna: 
This episodes is sponsored by BetterHelp online counseling.  To see if it’s right for you and to experience a week free, go to
This episode is sponsored by Adam and Eve.  To get 50% off an item, free shipping plus some free gifts go to and use offer code MENTAL
This episode is sponsored by StampsDotCom.  For a 4 week trial including a digital scale and stamps go to, click on the radio mic at the top of the page and enter offer code MENTAL
This episode is sponsored by ZipRecruiter.  To post your jobs for free go to
To become a monthly donor for as little as $1/month go to and qualify for free stuff from Paul including bonus episodes.

I Didn’t Want to Take Psych Meds But I Tried Them: An email from Kimberly

About an hour in to your episode with Jennifer Tracy, you started talking about medication and some people’s aversion to it. You both shared your views on using meds and I figured I could share my experience as someone who struggled with taking them.

My mom was an alcoholic from the time I was 8 until I was 18, when she died from liver failure. This affected me profoundly in many ways but one notable way is my aversion to alcohol, drugs, and medicines. I never thought anything of it until recently, but I remember cheeking Tylenol that my parents gave me when I complained about headaches or cramps, I refused to take NyQuil and Benadryl because they made me sleepy and it terrified me.

I’m 23 now, and I’ve become more relaxed about those kinds of things, but when I finally faced the reality that I needed help for my depression and anxiety that had gone unchecked since I was at least 13, I panicked. When I got prescribed Prozac, I spent an hour pacing my room with the pill in my hand, crying and arguing with the walls, trying to convince myself to take it. In my head, me taking this pill was no different from my mom drink vodka. Here’s an awfulsome moment for you: having an anxiety attack over taking anxiety meds.

Eventually I took the pill. It wasn’t right for me, so I got switched to Effexor. I forced myself to take it regularly, and I remember the first time I noticed a difference: I started to feel myself go into a downward thought spiral (“Why is this happening to me, why am I  such a shitty person”, etc) when suddenly I just said, “No. Stop that. Stop.” And the sadness, the clenched jaw, the tightening of the throat that signaled sobs that normally would have come out and continued until I felt numb – all of it disappeared. Just vanished. This whole event occurred as I walked across a parking lot to my car and by the time I opened my car door and sat down, all I was feeling was shock. I said aloud, “Is this what it’s supposed to be like? Is this how people deal with their feelings?” And then, “I’m getting ice cream to celebrate.”

Sometimes I still get scared when I miss a couple pills and realize how dependent I am on this chemical, but I’m glad I finally convinced myself to try. It changed my life.

Kimberly can be followed on Twitter @Whimsium


I Was Born Afraid – Jenny Jaffe

The comedic writer/performer and mental health advocate who started Project UROK shares about the tremendous support she received from her family when depression anxiety and OCD had her close to suicide by age 10, and even more despondent from 15-17. Her story is a great example of parental support, the power of coping skills, and proof that even people from safe supportive homes with no trauma in their lives can suffer from mental illness because the issue is often one of chemical imbalance.

Follow Jenny on Twitter @JennyJaffe and @JennyJaffe on Instagram

Check out her Facebook page

Visit her website

And of course check out

This ep is sponsored by BetterHelp online therapy.  To try it and get a week for free go to

To support the podcast consider becoming a one-time or recurring monthly donor or donating frequent flyer miles. It can be done at

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I Am The Worst Person Ever – Mike Levine

For most of his life Mike has been wracked with shame and self-hatred, convinced he was the worst person ever and fantasizing about suicide when he was hospitalized at 15. He and Paul talk about where his self-hate may come from as well as his ADHD, emotionally sterile and achievement-focused childhood, body dysmorphia, cross-dressing, kink as a submissive male, and how he finally summoned the courage and self-love to end an abusive friendship. Mike is a great example of someone learning to embrace his uniqueness instead of hating and shaming himself for it.

Follow Mike @BizMichael on Twitter and Instagram

Check out his books: At Least You’re Not These Monsters and All The Feelings

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp To try a week of counseling for free go to and fill out a questionnaire so you can be paired with a licensed counselor.

This episode is sponsored by ZipRecruiter. To post your jobs for free go to

To support the podcast consider becoming a monthly donor via Patreon for as little as $1/month (and get rewards for free like donor-only mini eps where Paul reads responses from the donor-only survey) Go to

A great way to help the podcast is to donate frequent flyer miles. For details on how to do it go to. and scroll down to the Frequent Flyer Miles section.