Have a therapy session on Wednesday - first time in a long time. Anxiety building.
Have to fill out questionnaire, and will also scan this thread with what I discussed with "Dare I Say It" to come in with some stuff written down, about what I want to work on, and what my expectations are, and what my boundaries are.
Lately have been sleeping a great deal - and dreaming of being back in high school and college, which is a feeling that is bitter-sweet. I am mourning because of the lack of dating and romantic relationships in high school and college - I wish I had the understanding of my 41-year-old self in the body of a 14 year old, but that is ridiculous.
Spoke with my daughter this morning as I drove her to school about my feelings about what I perceive as her lack of caring about academics. I will not push too hard - because she does not handle criticism well. But, thinking back to my youth, there is something to be said about a brief communication about going down the wrong path. Of course, one of the stupid things about the high school years is no interaction with 23-year-old's and such about consequences of behavior during the years 15-16-17-etc. The world is set up for people to be minimally self-actualized - this is depressing to me.
Urg, a good description of my life is "being held captive by my anxiety, being a slave to my anxiety, being worn out and washed away by my anxiety"