Hoarding bullets for my starting gun

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Hoarding bullets for my starting gun

Postby hookinmyhead » December 3rd, 2013, 6:09 am

Help me slay this fear/rationalization/catch-22.

I don't try to do things in ways that haven't worked for me, because I presume failure. But I'm afraid to try things in new ways, because what if I'm not ready, I fail in a new way, and then I have to scratch one more idea off the list of potential solutions.

In short: I don't try new approaches, lest I fail, and lose what might have been a viable option in different circumstances.

Hence I'm paralyzed.

p.s. I haven't had coffee yet this morning, so my apologies if this came out as a word salad.
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Re: Hoarding bullets for my starting gun

Postby manuel_moe_g » December 3rd, 2013, 8:59 pm

was talking about this kind of stuff with my EMDR therapist tonight, I hope it helps

I have problems with depression and anxiety

without Hope, I am paralyzed or in anguish or painful anxiety

my experience with Perfection is that when Perfection comes into the room, Hope flies out the window

since I need to hold Hope near my chest, I have to keep Perfection out of the room

I don't have time for Perfection in action, or Perfection in preparation, or Perfection in reaction, etc.

with Perfection out of the way, I can hold Hope close to me, so I can move forward without suffering

also, success and failure are two sides of the same coin

if you want to be on good terms with success, then you need to be on good terms with failure

if you want to be good friends with success, then you need to be good friends with failure

also, when you are 40% ready, you are 100% ready - the other 60% of preparation is an illusion of control, not reality
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Re: Hoarding bullets for my starting gun

Postby bigeekgirl » December 21st, 2013, 7:47 am

Manny - Yes!

Perfection is not a reasonable goal. Even as I attempt to hold myself to it, I know it's impossible, thus hope can't share head space with it.
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Re: Hoarding bullets for my starting gun

Postby Fargin » December 21st, 2013, 3:51 pm

It seems like when I think, I become stupider.

But it's probably mostly, when I overthink, I make really poor decisions. Intuitively I usually knows what's good and right, but from very early on, I was taught to distrust my intuition. Whenever my intuition tells me one thing, I remember all the times I've failed and then discard my intuition. This means I usually fail again or become paralyzed.
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Re: Hoarding bullets for my starting gun

Postby Brooke » November 13th, 2014, 9:18 am

I've always been afraid of failure and so I've created this safe box I live in...I think a lot of people are afraid of failure, so they don't take risks and play it safe. They don't get out of line because they don't want to be embarrassed when they "fail" or look stupid because of it. I've always thought motivational speakers were delusional. But after long years of anxiety and depression, I've recently am trying to get out of my boxed-in head and step out. It is so audacious of me to think that my depressing, negative ways are right and the "successful people" are delusional. But depression does that to your brain...it convinces you that your negative ways of looking at the world are the truth and 100% right. This might not be relevant to you right now, but when I was listening to Robert Kiyosaki (yes, another guy I thought was just a money-making whore), the first message was, "Don't be afraid of failures, the more times you fail, the more successful you will be in your life. You need to welcome and seek more failures in your life." And since failure was on my mind at that time, it really opened my mind. I'm not going to go out and buy real estate or anything, but that state of mind is important in life. We are so afraid of rejection and the embarrassment that we end up not doing anything. There's two sides of me, one is the depression that's been strong in my life that wants to keep me in a small box and not live my life, and then there's another side of me that is scared shitless that I'm going to regret not living my life at the end. Recently, the latter is winning and I'm trying to encourage myself to start thinking outside the box. I've found a few people like Toni Robbins and when I'm feeling down, I make myself listen to them. It usually elevates my mood and I try and practice it every day. I think it's like a muscle, the more I use, the more comfortable it's going to be.
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Re: Hoarding bullets for my starting gun

Postby manuel_moe_g » November 14th, 2014, 3:59 pm

Hi Brooke, yes, I agree... I once got a free book from Robert Kiyosaki that helped me with a positive message, and I purchased products from Tony Robbins that gave me my money's worth, definately. I am scared by manically positive people, so I would never go on a personal productivity retreat, but I get good stuff when I dip my toe in with that kind of stuff. I am scared of manic people because my father was manic and was abusive to me in his mania.
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