I am overweight.

Share about body image related issues. To share about physical struggles, i.e. pain, exhaustion, disabilities etc go to the "Physical Struggles" subforum.

I am overweight.

Postby oak » November 9th, 2014, 7:44 am

I am 5 feet 10 inches tall, about 210 pounds.

I am a 38 year old male.

There! If we are only as sick as our secrets, then I am a little less sick now. In the near future I'll post more about how I got here, and what my plan is.

For now I want to plainly state the facts. To get them out there.
"Work is love made visible." -Kahlil Gibran

"We gotta make a decision: leave tonight or live and die this way." -Tracy Chapman
User avatar
oak
 
Posts: 1115
Joined: January 18th, 2013, 8:44 am
Gender: Male

Re: I am overweight.

Postby manuel_moe_g » November 10th, 2014, 5:12 pm

Hello oak. I hate myself for making everything about myself, but here goes - I feel so sad how closely twisted my ideas of food and managing my constant anxiety are. I learned very young that I could get a little break from the constant anxiety with food. But now there is heightened and heightened anxiety about my weight. It happens so quickly that I over-order at a fast food place, and then I find I eat to the point of discomfort.

Walking helps, and drinking ice water helps. Self-forgiveness after I eat too much is a joy.

Feeling a little bit hungry or bored is so intolerable, so I must eat. I need to practice burning off the stress hormones in those times, and having compassion for myself when I am imperfect at it.

My therapist uses this technique to burn off stress hormones in a way that maximizes the power of the executive control part of the brain that loves to be helpful and help you with your highest goals.

https://www.panicaway.com/word/fear-of- ... wsletter-2

"""

Number One – The 5-4-3-2-1

Start by doing the 5-4-3-2-1 every five minutes. Then every fifteen minutes. Then every hour. It is nothing more than a focusing exercise, something to intensely occupy your mind so disturbing thoughts can’t take hold.

Sit or recline comfortably.
Focus on some object in front of you.
Keep your focus on that throughout the exercise.
If your eyes drift off, just bring them back. Do the exercise out loud first. Then, try it silently. See if one works better for you than the other.

Say “I see” and name something in your peripheral vision.
Say “I see” and name something else in your peripheral vision.
Continue until you have made five statements.
For example: I see the lamp, I see the table, I see a spot on the lamp shade, I see a book on the table, I see a picture on the table.

Say “I hear” and name something you hear.
Say “I hear” and name something else you hear.
Continue until you have made five statements.
NOTE: you will have to repeat something if there are not five different things you can hear.

Say “I feel” and name something you hear. (not internal, like heart pounding or tension, but external).
Say “I hear” and name something else you hear.
Continue until you have made five statements.For example: I feel the chair under me, I feel my arm against my leg, etc.

That completes one cycle. It takes intense concentration. That is exactly what you want. As you concentrate on non-threatening things, the “fight or flight” hormones in your body when you started the exercise get burned off. As they are, you get more relaxed. You don’t make yourself relax. You use up the stress hormones to let yourself relax.

Start the next cycle, but make one change. If you always made five statements, you soon could do the exercise without intense concentration, and your mind could drift back to “bad” thoughts. You can keep concentration intense by making one change each cycle. Instead of doing five statements again, do four statements. Then, in the following cycle, do three statements. Then, in the next cycle, do two statements. Then, in the next cycle, do one statement.

Stop when you are as relaxed as you want to be. If you want to be more relaxed – or to fall asleep – continue by starting again at five statements. If you lose count, that is a good sign because it means you are getting relaxed, so relaxed that you are losing count.

"""

The way my therapist used the 5-4-3-2-1 technique is with deep breathe in through nose and exhale out of mouth before and after the technique.

My therapist says to use the 5-4-3-2-1 when [1] you get paralyzed with anxiety or [2] when the executive control loop of "Analyze - Plan - Commit -- towards highest goals" breaks down because of a flood of stress hormones.
~~~~~~
http://www.reddit.com/r/obsequious_thumbtack -- Obsequious Thumbtack Headdress
User avatar
manuel_moe_g
 
Posts: 1610
Joined: October 3rd, 2011, 9:04 am
Location: Orange County, CA
Gender: Male
Issues: Depression, Anxiety

Re: I am overweight.

Postby oak » November 14th, 2014, 7:14 pm

Thanks Manuel Moe. This is great.
"Work is love made visible." -Kahlil Gibran

"We gotta make a decision: leave tonight or live and die this way." -Tracy Chapman
User avatar
oak
 
Posts: 1115
Joined: January 18th, 2013, 8:44 am
Gender: Male

Re: I am overweight.

Postby Joekababazae » November 23rd, 2014, 9:28 am

Oak, I studied nutrition in college so if you need any advice, I will gladly help you out. Also, do you know your body fat percentage? It's much more accurate than BMI (which is the worst thing ever). Send me a message if you feel like you need or want some advice.
Joekababazae
 
Posts: 16
Joined: September 25th, 2014, 10:47 am
Location: New England
Gender: Male
Issues: Depression, Anxiety, ADHD.

Re: I am overweight.

Postby oak » November 23rd, 2014, 7:03 pm

Thank you, that is so sweet.

When work settles down after the first of the year, I'll be sure to pm you.
"Work is love made visible." -Kahlil Gibran

"We gotta make a decision: leave tonight or live and die this way." -Tracy Chapman
User avatar
oak
 
Posts: 1115
Joined: January 18th, 2013, 8:44 am
Gender: Male

Re: I am overweight.

Postby oak » November 25th, 2014, 5:17 pm

A few more facts, as I continue to be between the contemplation and determination stages:

I was told to lose weight by my kind doctor.

(Backstory: I was in financial chaos and later working poverty for the last ten years. During many of those years, I had enough to eat, on average, 5.5 days a week. I was trying to survive the chaos, so eating healthy was not a priority. I also couldn't afford healthcare, so I didn't go to the doctor for ten years. Things are getting better, giving me emotional air to think about my health.)

He gave a checkup and in general he declared me to be in good health.

So, just like surviving that car wreck in 2004 and quitting drinking in 2008, I skated from disaster. But I don't want to take this clean bill of health for granted. I am humbled.

I work too hard, and have put too much effort into budgeting and planning my finances to work the next 32 years, retire at 70, and drop dead from diet-caused diabetes/heart/cancer. I work too hard.

I have also noticed, for example in a recent Hallmark movie, that the slim and well dressed man gets the beautiful girlfriend and the overweight and unshaven dude is the butt of jokes. I want to date more.

I also intend to be interviewing soon. I understand that slimmer men are more likely to be hired than overweight men. That to do this overtly is illegal, but it of course happens all the time.

Another reason is that since the beloved metrosexual movement years ago, men's clothes are really gorgeous. Or think of my style icons Oscar Wilde and Steve Buscemi in Boardwalk Empire. Such gorgeous cravats. I love brocades.

Many of the most beautiful sportcoats are "modern": a little slimmer.

From my own experience, there is a correlation between my then-working poverty and obesity. Not causation, but correlation.

A middle class life (which I am currently not at), would afford me a constellation of ways to make it easier.

But I come here not to make excuses or defend my mistakes. Moving forward I want to make better choices, more loving decisions, happier habits.

I feel better getting all this off my chest.
"Work is love made visible." -Kahlil Gibran

"We gotta make a decision: leave tonight or live and die this way." -Tracy Chapman
User avatar
oak
 
Posts: 1115
Joined: January 18th, 2013, 8:44 am
Gender: Male


Return to Body Image

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

cron