Self esteem and chatroom addiction

Share about body image related issues. To share about physical struggles, i.e. pain, exhaustion, disabilities etc go to the "Physical Struggles" subforum.

Self esteem and chatroom addiction

Postby William » February 2nd, 2014, 6:30 pm

I'm a 21 year old male bisexual.
I have had self esteem issues since I was about 14 years old. I think it all started one day when it emerged that this very pretty girl fancied my friend at school.
At the time I'd been overweight for a while and forgotten that brilliant feeling of somebody liking you when you're that age and I suppose I realised I wanted some of what my friend was getting.
Since then, I've not been able to shake off this obsession with how I look, particularly my weight. All my life, various people have told me I'm a good looking lad, but I've had numerous episodes where I was chubby and took a lot of stick for it at school.
I've never been a dieter, because I don't believe in them, and I've certainly never had an eating disorder, but I started the Paul McKenna I Can Make You Thin
regime almost two years ago, lost four stone in total and have managed to keep it off.
For a period after that it felt like so many people fancied me.
Since I was around 16, I've spent way too much time talking to people over MSN/Skype that I meet on chat sites. Before I lost the four stone, I'd had a lot of rejection
on there, then suddenly it felt like whoever I met would be really interested in me.
But that's since become less and less the case. I haven't put the weight back on. I literally don't know what looks different about me, but when I've been on these sites recently
it feels like I have as poor a chance of finding someone that likes me as ever.
It's so hard to take that I was finally feeling great about myself, and now I just feel as low on confidence as I ever did.
Because I've never been one to get out much, I think I've relied on these sites to give me the self confidence I need, and over the years it has grown into
a bigger and bigger addiction. There's just no inbetween in terms of how I feel about myself. I meet someone that likes me, and I feel on top of the world. I meet one person
that's not interested, and I feel angry and depressed and self loathing.
I hate myself for feeling this way when there are so many people with plainly bigger worries than their looks, but I would give anything to not care as much about it as I do.

I've been able to put the feelings to the back of my mind in the past but they've recently been dominating me and being a lad, I find it harder to confide in people about it.

Thanks for reading and for any words of advice or comfort you might have.
Posts: 1
Joined: February 2nd, 2014, 6:27 pm

Return to Body Image

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest