When is being alone a sign of depression or one of relief?

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When is being alone a sign of depression or one of relief?

Postby GuyIncognito » April 28th, 2014, 9:41 am

It's interesting. I am currently living in Southeast Asia and don't have many friends or feel the need to go out and make them.

Before, I lived in an East Asian country and I had TONS of friends and accquiantances and yet I felt incredibly lonely.

Certainly part of this is due to some very bad experiences with people in my current country leading me to not bother. On the other hand, I spoke the language of the East Asian country quite well and kept trying to connect with people. I some bad experiences there too, to be sure, but it never discouraged from going out as it has here.

As I reflect, I wonder if I am right now preferring to be alone because I'm depressed (much as I sought attention because I was in the other place) or because I am content to be that way. I guess the inciting incident for this thought was when I had ladyfriend over and couldn't wait to get to her out after we had sex, not because she was bad or anything but just because I preferred to have my few days off to myself.
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Re: When is being alone a sign of depression or one of relie

Postby brave-girl-living » April 28th, 2014, 4:20 pm

Those are good questions to be pondering and asking yourself for sure. I can't say I have any answers or insight; but I think the fact that you choose to have companionship, and then seemed to quickly revert to wanting to be alone is note worthy. I think depression isolation rarely comes with a feeling of contentment, so I think investigating that feeling would be helpful for you. It sounds like it is very different where you are now vs where you were before. Maybe some journaling with even just lists of the changes, and your emotions related to them, even pros and cons would help get your awareness sparking :)
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Re: When is being alone a sign of depression or one of relie

Postby ScottMentalPod » April 29th, 2014, 5:19 pm

You should like a normal guy in their 20s who hasn't found the right girl yet. Focus on your career and making money and everything else will fall into place. Women love guys that are passionate about what they do for a living even if it's flipping burgers. Hang in there. It gets better.
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