Just embarrassed myself, I hate being BP

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Just embarrassed myself, I hate being BP

Postby Geek » March 4th, 2013, 11:56 am

I just cried in front of everyone in a business meeting. No rhyme or reason, it's like someone flipped a switch and the tears just started coming. God, I hate this. I have a good job and I don't want to lose it. Because of my action, I've made everyone else uncomfortable. I really didn't mean to cry, and oh crap I'm crying again!!! Geez!!!

Does this happen to anyone else?? Also having suicidal thoughts although I would never act on them.
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Re: Just embarrassed myself, I hate being BP

Postby camdendayton » March 4th, 2013, 12:38 pm

I can relate. I have gotten better but I used to cry any time I was frustrated. It was especially hard because no one understood. I also worry about my inconsistant behavior being an impediment to employment. :-/
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Re: Just embarrassed myself, I hate being BP

Postby Geek » March 4th, 2013, 12:58 pm

I worry about that too, especially since I feel like I've lost credibility. I don't think anyone here or my friends understand. My friends keep telling me that I don't need medication. I'd like to tell them to live in my head for a day and see if they feel differently. It's not thier fault, it's just that they don't know about all of the ups and downs that I'm able to hide most of the time. Ok, maybe it's a little hard to hide but I do my best.
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Re: Just embarrassed myself, I hate being BP

Postby Livian82 » March 6th, 2013, 4:12 am

I did the same thing just the other week. Ended up having to transfer a call to someone else since I couldn't deal with it anymore. I was already frustrated and it only took one little comment to tip me over the edge. It's a horrible feeling and you hate yourself for it, but it's just another piece to the BP puzzle. Some days you can keep it together long enough to make it to a place you can lose it, some days you can't.

I hope you can forgive yourself, hon. If everyone here was working with you, you know we'd understand. And anyone who tells you don't need medication clearly doesn't what it's like to deal with this every single goddamn day, from when you get up to when, and if, you even get to go to sleep.

Hugs to you! I know what you mean I still think about killing myself even though I know it would take a lot and cause too much pain, sometimes it's not enough not to stop thinking about it.
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Re: Just embarrassed myself, I hate being BP

Postby CoQ10 » March 7th, 2013, 8:00 pm

Hello
Your not alone as far as crying i did do that once a few years ago at work
I had a reason but it was not really important at the time to cry
or it may have been something else like i said it was a few years ago
memory is not working well.

I cry all the time at home and it gets annoying sometimes but home life
is stressful very much so.
C
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Re: Just embarrassed myself, I hate being BP

Postby Geek » March 8th, 2013, 7:29 am

Thanks for your replies; I don't feel so alone now. Today is better. Just upped my meds, so maybe I'm just adjusting. Just taking it one day at a time :)
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Re: Just embarrassed myself, I hate being BP

Postby kaitlyn » June 15th, 2013, 9:01 am

I'm in nursing school and when I was frustrated I had the tendency to cry like you describe. Really not okay in front of staff, students, and teachers while you're way out of your depth in a professional environment. You're not alone in this.
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Re: Just embarrassed myself, I hate being BP

Postby didbakenaked » July 16th, 2013, 2:25 pm

You are most certainly not alone. I have cried in the past inappropriately at work. And I almost never can make myself stop. Most recently though, I was so angry that I sent a long and aggressive text to owner of the restaurant I manage. That's not me, I have never done anything even close to being so unprofessional. I still feel awful. I imagine that feeling will be forgotten in a week or month from now hopefully?
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