Anxiety when left alone with child/children

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Anxiety when left alone with child/children

Postby bgirl » October 24th, 2014, 3:38 pm

I used to feel alone in this, but two close friends have confided that they feel this way too. One was a stay-at-home mom and her son goes to preschool full time because of her anxiety with him.

When I am left alone with my kids, I feel anxious and restless. It's okay if we have the TV on (watching it or in the background), and it's okay if we are out in public. We don't have to even be doing anything special, just being out is good. I took them to FL from Pennsylvania on a train for a week long trip BY MYSELF and wasn't anxious. Being left alone for more than an hour or two, that causes major anxiety. Weirdly enough, its better if I'm pissed at my husband. I'm fine to be alone by myself for prolonged periods of time, but with the girls it's different.

I've done all sorts of counseling, even an intensive week long "personal growth" workshop, to help to deal with it. All of that has helped other issues, but not this one. Knowing other people have it helps a little. I want a solution!!!! I feel like I've tried so much already without much success.

Any suggestions or insight is welcome!
bgirl
 
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Re: Anxiety when left alone with child/children

Postby duck1 » October 25th, 2014, 7:40 pm

HI,

I could relate in my own way. I think it has to do with the fact that time with our kids is unstructured and spontaneous and carries SO much responsibility, and it can be overwhelming how you react and what you do... and if there are no outside distractions the pressure intensifies.

Two things help me :

1. Planning - like something fun.

2. Reading about child development. it helps feel in my daughters shoes and understand what she needs.

I hope this helps.
duck1
 
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Re: Anxiety when left alone with child/children

Postby YoSnowflake » January 8th, 2015, 6:17 am

I have this problem with my toddler. It got so bad a few months ago as I felt a full swing bipolar ii anxiety moment come on that I got her into a good preschool. We started at three days and now my child goes four days. I feel like a lazy, privileged mother because I'm a student but I don't work regularly. Essentially, preschool is saving my life and serving my child's needs while I work on healing activities like 2x weekly psychotherapy. Don't beat yourself up and ask for help with your kids. Get them on a regular schedule (Fridays with Grandma?) so you know you'll have a schedule you can rely on.
YoSnowflake
 
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Issues: Bipolar ii, depression, past family abuse, adoption.
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