FlashbackTriggers

[50msns]

I have PTSD from my time in the miltary. Even though i have been retired since 1994, i still am surprised sometimes on what triggers a flashback. Sometimes it is as simple as the sound of wind in the forest, the way a tree is waving in the breeze or the sound of my footsteps walking on a gravel road. Over the years I have gotten better at managing my PTSD moments but it still can be difficult at times. The only thing i have found that gives immediate relief when i am having a flashback or going into hyper-vigilance mode is smoking marijuana. Unfortunately, where i live, PTSD is not a qualifying condition to get a medical marijuana card.

[Eternally Learning]

Sorry to hear you're going through all that. If you don't mind my asking; what is having a flashback like?

[50msns]

No, i don't mind. For me, i feel like i am physically transported back to another place and time...even though i know logically, based on what i can see, that i am in Washington State, i feel like i am back in the GDR or somewhere in central america......i know in my head that i am home, kind of, but it sounds and smells and feels like i am back in the middle of a mission and and need to act accordingly.

[Paul Gilmartin]

50msns,
Thanks for giving us a glimpse of what you go through. And welcome to the forum.

Paul

[hlbrown23]

I have PTSD from watching my mom get taken off of life-support in the hospital when I was 15 (I am now 21). Usually just someone saying the word "mom" or something that reminds me of her will trigger a flashback. For me, though, I don't feel like I'm actually transported back to that time and place. I just have lots of intense images from that day flashing through my head and I just feel like...a stab of heartache. That's the best way I can describe it. Sometimes the images are just always running through the back of my mind for hours at a time.

I actually was just recently diagnosed with PTSD, I thought only people who had served in combat could have it and I didn't realize the things I had been experiencing were symptoms of it until my psychiatrist talked to me about it. Very interesting to hear it from another perspective and know that other people do experience feelings like this.

Also, having just been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and PTSD within the last six months (after suffering for many years and just trying to go it alone), this podcast has been such a relief for me to listen to and know that I'm not alone and that I'm not the only one who has crazy fucked up thoughts running through my head every day. So thank you, Paul, for starting this and I hope you can keep it going for a long time

[manuel_moe_g]

Welcome to the forum, hlbrown23! Glad to hear you are on a path to successfully managing these particular challenges in your life. All the best, we here are all cheering for your very best today and tomorrow!

[Colonialpunk]

I have PTSD from being raped and (to some degree) from being in an emotionally & mentally abusive relationship.

I am extremely cautious about what films I watch, and even what music I listen to, as both have triggered unpleasant flashbacks for me in the past.

What I find interesting is that there will be times, like today on the bus, where I have flashbacks triggered by seemingly nothing in particular! Does that happen to anyone else, or are [your] flashbacks usually always triggered by something specific?

[imnotcrzee]

Welcome hlbrown23
This is an awesome place to be. You are so young and are already on your journey to wellness.
Stay strong and you will overcome.

Just as colonialpunk said - I also have PTSD from being raped. I was raped 17 years ago when I was 16 My brain repressed the experience for survival purposes.. Long story....I would have strong emotion and physical reactions for a long time and didn't know why. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety about 5yrs ago. 4 years ago the nightmares became so bad about my rape I told my therapist what I knew. Since then the important things have come back. And now I know that those triggers for no reason are all for some reason. An REM song plays and I shake, the smell of summer beginning in the air makes me naseaus and on hot nights with a warm breeze I have thrown up. A certain smell of a random person in Costco warning the cologne of one my attackers - I begin to sweat,turn around, leave my cart and walk out to my car, lock the doors and cry. This has happened three times in the last two years.
Seeing an old picture on FB - I block it out. There are so many more triggers I can't begin to explain...those ones have been haunting me a long long time and to know them is good. I can label it, deal with it and move on.
It is so normal. PTSD is SERIOUS... And is often coupled with depression and anxiety...
Stay strong, we were once victims but are now survivors. Love to you both

[Paul Gilmartin]

Wow. Thank you guys so much for letting us in on your PTSD. If it's okay with you guys, I'd like to read some excerpts from your posts on the show. I think it will be useful and interesting to a lot of people.

Paul

[Colonialpunk]

imnotcrzee,

cologne can be entirely overwhelming. Even just the smell of some deodorants. Or some chewing gums.

I am lucky that I decided early on to block all of my online accounts from my abusive ex, and I actually moved soon after seeing him for the last time as well because I was having constant nightmares because he knew where I lived.

It is extremely interesting to me that the memories you have stayed dormant for so long, I was able to get on with my normal life at first and as time has passed things have definitely gotten much worse, to the point where it extremely effects my ability to be intimate with others. It took probably 3 years before any of those issues arose, previously things seemed to be fine, for the most part.

--

My flashbacks of being raped are more like photographs, or very tiny slices of a film that flash through my mind. I feel lucky I don't remember most of what happened, they trip my gag-reflex.

Flashbacks of my abusive ex are more like a lightning bolt of fear that usually causes me to run into the bedroom and slam the door. It is like a false sense of knowledge that I am about to be attacked... once I even threw a frying pan of french toast when the feeling came over me (even though I was alone in the kitchen).

--

50msns, I am surprised to hear you can't get a medical card for your PTSD (I am assuming you don't live in King County?). I have several friends who are veterans and have received cards for their PTSD (I also live in Washington State) and though I feel ashamed about it a little bit for some reason, I know medical marijuana has helped with my PTSD and anxiety IMMENSELY.