Narcissism

[Stina]

One of the lessons that I hated to learn was that what traits irritates us most when we see them in other people, are exactly the traits we ourselves possess. I hate that truth - it stinks.

I've dealt with that too, pretty much all day when I'm at work.

[shawnkathleen]

^ SO TRUE!!

How sad is that? As soon as I find similarities in my personality in others I am completely turned off.

And as far as narcissism goes, most of the time I like a massive narcissistic asshole, and then there are other times when I don't give a shit about myself. On one hand I am a very good mother to my children, and of course they always come first; but then the self-doubt kicks in and I feel selfish for doing something incredibly petty and inconsequential.

It is definitely an interesting dichotomy, where sometimes feeling like shit and doing for others can circle back into making yourself feel selfish and guilty for no real reason. Oh and the Twitter thing, yeah -- that too. I feel like a jerk-off because I want people to like me, and that makes me feel like a complete tool as well. I really don't think that deep down I am a proper "narcissist", but I sure as shit can make myself feel like one for wanting to talk about myself -- even here right now, sharing.

I really don't understand it -- but it suuucks.

Thank goodness I can come here to read and relate to many of you. Thanks for sharing.

[Kinikos]

Oh man, do I relate. When I go out, everyone is looking at me. When someone laughs, they're laughing at me. Hell, if a classmate says hi to me they're secretly patronising me or trying to make me feel like shit. In fact, everything is all one big elaborate ploy to make me feel like shit. Let's go with that...

This is something I’ve come to realise about myself. My inferiority complex is so powerful it has manifested itself into a pessimistic form of narcissism so overblown it borders on egomania. I can give no better example than last week when, while walking along a main road, I had a panic attack and my dumb mind perceived the cars slowing down as they neared the red lights as them trying to get a better look at the freak show that is myself. As soon as I got home, I realised how ridiculously irrational and just plain idiotic that was, but at that moment I was completely convinced that that was the case.