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Most of my life has been a struggle to regulate strong emotions. When I hear/see something that's even a little sad, I get overwhelmed by sadness and I experience that as really unpleasant. Maybe trying so hard to regulate or contain my emotions is part of the problem. I don't know.
dystopika wrote:I cried like I hadn't cried in YEARS. It was a bit embarrassing but sooo cathartic. I felt a sense of peace afterwards.
I have a similar experience when I hear songs that remind me of high school. At least for now, it's hard for me to remember that there were some good times mixed in with the awful ones when I was a teenager. Anytime I hear a song that was popular in the mid '90s, my impulse is to immediately turn it off.dystopika wrote:NIN's "And All That Could Have Been" reminds me of my divorce. It is sort of a devastating song for me.
My ability to cry was so tightly bound with my sense of self-entitlement and feeling sorry for myself and demanding the world to give me everything I wanted without me having to put in any effort. So when I got rid of those terrible parts of myself, I kind of lost the ability to cry. I am not sure how to move to a healthier place.
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