I am begging for an objective opinion on whether my husband has an addiction. Anyone with knowledge on this, please provide your input, I would so, so appreciate it. Here on the facts:
My husband works nights and I work days. He works three nights a week and is off four. On his nights off, he waits until I go to sleep and drinks 4-6 beers a night (the higher ABVs, like Bud Light Platinum or similar ABV). I'm sleeping, so I don't know how quickly he drinks these. It could be over the course of 6 hours or 2 hours, I truly don't know. Sometimes he drinks wine instead and if he does he drinks an entire bottle. He does this every single night that he does not work, and he has been doing it for years. He used to drink vodka and tequila, he would buy the pints and maybe drink one in two days or so. In the last couple years he has gone almost exclusively with beer or wine, unless he's at a party, when he'll drink liquor and way more than his average night. He's also a regular pot smoker, though I don't know if it's every night because he waits until I go to bed. He spends about $80 a month on pot, (in USA) if that helps you gauge his frequency of use at all. He takes sleeping pills every might before he goes to bed. He used to take Ambien and would do very messed up things on it that he didn't remember the next day. I expressed my concern about Ambien but he did not quit until he totalled his car after getting behind the wheel after a half bottle of wine and Ambien. (He was arrested and charged with a DUI.) Now he takes Trazadone exclusively and religiously.
He enjoys pills but doesn't go to the trouble to seek them out, but would take my left over pain pills or benzos when I had them. (He never stole them from me, just asked me if he could take them and it would be for "a headache" or "anxiety."
He was on a Kratom kick for awhile but lost interest. He loves ecstacy and it is my belief that he plans trips around getting to take it. (He only takes it a couple of times a year, though I know he would take it more, given the opportunity.)he also plans trips around trying new strains of pot. He has never injected drugs and has only ever done other hallucigens occasionally, and not for at least 10 years. He is 36 years old.
I have asked him about his alcohol substance use. He denies any addictions, and does so calmly and without anger. Rather, he kind of waves me off and says, "I never get messed up at night, I just enjoy a few drinks and weed helps me concentrate and think clearly." I have expressed concern, but it has not affected his use. He does not hide his use (empty bottles, pot purchase) but he's rather vague and secretive about it all. When asked about that, he said he feels neither embarrassed or ashamed of his use, he just knows it bothers me so he doesn't do it in front of me. He says this all calmly and nonchalantly.
So, I humbly ask those with experience what they think? I honestly don't know--it seems like he may be dealing with something bigger than he wants to admit, but perhaps I'm a prude? Thanks in advance for your help.