Considering trying online therapy again, I have concerns

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Re: Considering trying online therapy again, I have concerns

Postby HowDidIGetHere » June 12th, 2017, 4:44 pm

What I take from scorwitz's response is that what you're asking for is counter to the very mission of a trained therapist. A person who spends that many years learning how to help people "overcome self-limiting beliefs" isn't going to just be able to turn it off because a prospective client would rather embrace beliefs that would be considered self-limiting.

I would propose that if you need help accepting the limited "reality" you've defined for yourself, maybe there's still a question whether it's real? I don't know. My life is a Mount Rushmore of poo right now, so I could just be giving myself a pep talk.
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Re: Considering trying online therapy again, I have concerns

Postby Beany Boo » June 12th, 2017, 4:53 pm

I'm in total agreement with what you've just written, Neufena. Doing therapy on that premise; if I become a better person, I'll get better, is very spurious; even harmful.

Letting go of that is what therapy is all about. Being yourself; which is to say, feeling what you really feel, learning to show it and being accepted for it; that is closer to the real purpose of therapy.
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Re: Considering trying online therapy again, I have concerns

Postby neufena » June 15th, 2017, 5:47 am

Thanks for all your replies. I guess I'm just really scared that (again) I will believe my own 'hype' so to speak. I'll start to think "ok, so I'm not all bad, some people will like me" then (like last time) start trying to connect with people and be repeatedly rejected. I've found that attempting to believe I'm someone I'm not led to more hurt and failure, I just want to accept who I am. But nobody will ever help with that because accepting being a failure isn't 'healthy' and is 'limiting'. This leaves me with only one option. Keep working hard to try and be a success at everything, then a therapist can make me believe I'm not a failure and it won't be a lie. If that makes sense
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Re: Considering trying online therapy again, I have concerns

Postby Beany Boo » June 15th, 2017, 6:26 am

You're really struggling with some paradoxes there; the bull by the horns. I accept that you have failed. Accepting you have an unmanageable life is the first step towards recovery. Being close to other people is scary, especially when you don't know how; when to move close, when to keep your distance; how to listen; to let others hear you. How to progress; negotiate; its hard stuff to learn; to adjust to. Sometimes, at the time, there's just nothing you can do. But being yourself is very important; it's vital, more important than success. Trust your instincts. I think if you don't contemplate failures, that that is unhealthy and limiting; because you'll never learn from them, or how to recover from them, in that case.
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Re: Considering trying online therapy again, I have concerns

Postby manuel_moe_g » June 15th, 2017, 3:36 pm

Hello neufena, maybe stress to therapist that you are particularly sensitive to backsliding after some initial success.

Please take care, keep in touch.
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Re: Considering trying online therapy again, I have concerns

Postby neufena » June 15th, 2017, 11:55 pm

Thanks,

That's a good idea. I will mention that if/when I go back to therapy.
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Re: Considering trying online therapy again, I have concerns

Postby ClinicalPsychologist » November 2nd, 2017, 6:54 am

I would suggest trying Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). It is a variant of CBT that includes acceptance of thoughts and emotions, with the aim of helping you engage in valued activities. it turns the common modality of therapy that states that we need to change our thoughts and emotions first, to build a better life, on its head. Rather it states that when we put a ton of energy into "fixing" our thoughts and feelings that we often get pulled away from engaging in valued activities. Often that manifests as, "When I feel better or non longer think I'm a crappy human, then I can engage in self care, build a life worth living, get a job, be in a relationship, etc." ACT instead states-- "Having painful thoughts and emotions is a normal part of human experience. Using a lot of energy to try to get rid of these thoughts/feelings pulls us away from building a meaningful life." This is a gross oversimplification of ACT, but I think it would work much better with the problems you are describing.

I also think dialectical behavior therapy could be a good approach.

(I'm a psychologist who uses both of these treatment modalities)
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Re: Considering trying online therapy again, I have concerns

Postby neufena » November 28th, 2017, 1:03 pm

Thanks, that sounds very interesting. Sadly DBT is only available here for young people who self harm. If a doctor ever shows interracial in me again I'll bask about ACT. At the moment I've been given up on so I need to wait and see if I'm allow back some time.
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