Interesting Milk

[American Russ]

doesn't exist. But I do and my name is Russ. I'm 27 years old, male, married. I'm a writer who works on a farm. Only one of those really makes me any money. I'll let you guess which is which. But just remember, words and phrases like "organic" and "fresh" and "buy local" and "support farmers" are all really, really cute and sweet. In actuality, scooping heavy loads of horse and goat shit, picking plants in the midday raping sun, boxing with insects not yet identified and trying to master your Redneckenese language skills do have their own downsides. Anyways, enough of my bitching. I listen to the podcast while I work on the farm. You see, earbuds and ipods and silly things like e-mails are "wastes of damn ol' time" on the farm. I must listen to my mentalpod in secrecy. I squat down in the corner of the barn with a hose spraying dried goat shit off of a panel with my head tilted to avoid my earbuds from being seen while smiling and gently caressing my little i-pod. Just picture Gollum in a barn with an ipod but instead of hiding from a big scary fire ghost thingy, he's hiding his precious ipod from the Guards of the Republic of Hating Stuff for No Durned Reason or Because Diddy Din't Do it 'Atta Way.

This podcast is incredible. It's deep and it's fuckin' real. Exactly what I CAN'T find in therapy. I appreciate all of the guests coming on and opening up like that. I can't even really do that with my dogs let alone a widespread listening audience. It's really empowering for me. Just listening to this podcast for a few months has really sparked a few things in me. Hopefully a fire won't start. Then again, that's not always a bad thing.

[American Russ]

I forgot to mention my main reason for being here. I'm here because I was alone in all of this. But, things changed. Lawyer Tom, if you're listening to my writing, let me let you know that I believe you to be a bad-ass. Listening to your episode really tickled my blood bones. You grabbed my day by the face and kissed it. Thank you for opening up like that. Means a lot to a guy like me.

[Paul Gilmartin]

American Russ,

Wow. Thanks! I'm really flattered. I'm so glad you're feeling connected to the show. I have a lot of respect for people that produce our food. I hope you realize how important you are, even though nobody probably ever tells you that. You may be shoveling shit sometimes, but that shit helps put a smile on my face when I eat a good meal, so thanks!

Paul

[American Russ]

Paul,

No problem! We're actually a hops farm, so mainly we help out the beer drinkers of the world (haha). I'm scoopin' shit for drunks! More than anything, what's been inspired in me is my urge to get on stage and do some stand-up. I've always been afraid to do it, but now, FUCK IT. I'm doin' it. I'll get out there like a politician if I have to. Shakin' babies and kissin' hands. Whatever. The podcast has helped me identify with so many people (you and your guests) and I don't know, it's just...fuck it, it's inspiring. I don't have a better word for it. I haven't had this in life yet. And I'm kinda excited. I don't care if I fail at it. Someone's going to laugh and then I'll hunt them down in the parking lot and make them be my friend. I'll gain SOMETHING out of this.

Seriously though... thanks, Paul. You know how you guys talk about the whole thing where the douchey producer lets you know you're not appealing to 18-34 year old males? Fuck that guy. I'm 27 and I've laughed a ball or two off here and there while listening to you. Your comedy is REAL. It comes from who you are. You know, the whole vulnerability aspect of things. It's very easy to relate to you because of it. Plus, you're just fuckin' funny. And I know what funny is. Also, I don't know if you call yourself a writer or not, but you need to get on a book or two. Your blogs are great and you have exceptional intuition and insight. And again, you're fuckin' funny. And real.

So much thanks for all that you're doing, Paul. Keep going with it. Take care!

[Paul Gilmartin]

Wow, thanks Russ. I appreciate that. And your attitude about not caring whether or not you fail, but doing it for the fun of it, is the best mind-set you can approach standup with. It will help you be yourself, which is ultimately what the best standup is, unique to that performer.

Paul