Author:Paul Gilmartin

The Wounded Healer – April Adams

Author/life-coach April Adams clarifies what an “energy healer” actually does despite it sounding like new-age b.s.  She talks about techniques she has used to deal with her childhood trauma and heal others.  She opens up about her experiences with swinging, sexual fluidity, embracing her attraction to women fairly late in life and possible love addiction/fear of intimacy in her same-sex marriage.

April’s book is Essence: Ending Emptiness, Finding Fulfillment

Her websites are and

This episode is sponsored by TommyJohn.  For 20% off your first order go to and use offer code MENTAL

This episode is sponsored by TalkSpace.  For $30 off your first month of online therapy go to and use offer code MIHH

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Daddy Issues – Luisa Omielan

The 34 year-old British writer/comedian/performer shares about the pain of her parents’ nasty divorce when she was a kid, especially her father using her as a pawn and poisoning her mind about her mother. She also shares about her depression and only being turned on by men who treat her badly or are in some way unavailable. She talks about her struggle to not equate her self-worth with her career ups and downs and overcome her fear of not being enough.

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Follow Luisa on Twitter at

Check out her website


My Suicide Attempt Wakeup Call – Paul Goebel

The actor/comedian (@Midnight) opens up about his recent suicide attempt, psych ward stay  and how it is motivating him to seek help and try to be a better husband, father and friend.  He shares about trying to break the cycle of bad parenting and untreated addiction/mental illness in his family and learn how to identify and express his emotions instead of coping with his anxiety and depression by getting high.  He also expresses his regret in being a bad parent to his 2 daughters, a bad husband to his first wife and his treatment and attitude towards women.

This episode is sponsored by  To try a week of online counseling for free, go to

This episode is sponsored by ZipRecruiter.  To post jobs for free go to

This episode is sponsored by MadisonReed.  For 10% off your first color kit and free shipping go to and use offer code HAPPY

To support the podcast’s new donation option Patreon (with level-based rewards for donors!) go to

To check out more about Paul Goebel:

his twitter is

his website

a roast that they threw for him on the blog section of his website

And be on the lookout for his new podcast Paul Goebel & Friends


Feeling Invisible & BPD – Celia Finkelstein

The actor/improvisor (Horrible Bosses, American Horror Story) shares about learning to manager her Borderline Personality Disorder, and fears of abandonment or not being enough. She also shares about her weight struggles , depression, suicidal ideation, and being in a psych ward but hiding it from her mom. Post-interview Paul reads surveys and shares his thoughts on the intersection of our new political reality and mental health, especially for survivors of sexual trauma.

This episode is sponsored by Madison Reed. For 10% off your first hair color kit (and free shipping) go to and use offer code HAPPY.

For tix or info on this weekend’s In This Together mental health festival in Hollywood (Sun 4pm) where Paul will be recording former NBA player Royce White, go to

Follow Celia on Twitter @CeliaFink 

Check out Celia’s Facebook page


Behind The Good Girl Mask

Only hugged once in her life by her mother, 25 year-old Yohana is the daughter of conservative East African war refugees from Ethiopia & Eritrea.  All her life she has buried her rage by wearing the “good girl” mask to try to placate her narcissistic mother and having to be someone else to survive as a kid growing up in Oakland where there were some fixed ideas of what makes someone an “authentic African-American”.  She shares about living with a learning disability, having physically disabled siblings(and a mother who is ashamed of them) and a passive father. She talks about her battles with body shame, emotional eating, anxiety and depression.

This episode is sponsored by MadisonReed.  For 10% off your first hair color kit (and free shipping) go to and use offer code HAPPY

Follow Yohana on Twitter @Yohnkid

For info and tickets to the upcoming live MIHH event at the In This Together Festival in Los Angeles go to  It’s Sunday Nov 13th and starts at 4pm.  Paul will be interviewing former NBA player and mental health advocate Royce White.



Sex and Politics – Jamie Varon

The 31 year-old writer discusses feminism, sexual violence and misogyny in the context of partisan politics, and her personal life. She shares about the complexities of marrying a Muslim, growing up being told “you’re too sensitive”, avoiding her emotions by achieving, hating her body, fighting the drill sergeant in her head and learning the power of being vulnerable and letting go of shame.

Jamie’s links




All my published writing:

Writing workshops:

This episode is sponsored by Madison Reed.  For 10% off your first color kit (and free shipping go to and use the offer code HAPPY

This episode is sponsored by Young Health’s Probimune.  To get your first bottle free (plus $6.75 shipping) go to and use offer code MENTAL

This episode is sponsored by ZipRecruiter.  Listeners can post jobs free by going to

For information about the In This Together Festival in LA on Nov 13th, go to  Paul will be interviewing former NBA player Royce White.

Books mentioned by Jamie are: A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson,  Ask and It is Given by Esther Hicks, and When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron.


Jeff Rosenthal

Jeff is Paul’s friend of 28 years and the son of former guest and Holocaust survivor Kristine Keese. He shares about her recent passing, their deep but complicated relationship, how he made peace with her being “a terrible mom but a great friend” and the book she wrote Shadows of Survival: A Child’s Memoir of the Warsaw Ghetto.


Visit Jeff’s Facebook page here.

Buy Kristine’s book here.

Follow Jeff on Twitter @Jeff_Rosie

This episode is sponsored by Meundies.  For 20% off your first order go to

This episode is sponsored by Young Health’s Probimune.  For a free bottle go to and use offer code MENTAL when you sign up for automated delivery.

This episode is sponsored by MVMT watches.  For 15% off today with free shipping and free returns  go to

For tix or info on the In This Together Festival Nov 13th in Los Angeles at the Avalon go to



Freshman College Meltdown: Jen Curran’s Story

The writer/improviser shares about the mental/emotional breakdown her freshman year of college at NYU that left her living in her car and squatting in empty buildings in New York City.  She looks back on her childhood and the familial love that was so often conditional, based on her weight and appearance.  She opens up about the body shaming women in her family unconsciously modeled for her, her relationship with food, difficulty setting boundaries with toxic people and finding out what she really wants instead of living to meet other people’s expectations of her.

Follow Jen on Twitter @JenCurran

This episode is sponsored by Young Health’s Probimune.  For your first bottle free (plus $6.75 shipping) go to and use offer code MENTAL

This episode is sponsored by Casper mattresses.  Go to

This episode is sponsored by  Listeners can post jobs for free by going to


What Not To Say to Someone Who Has Depression: A Guest Blog by Dr. Susan J. Noonan


I was recently asked by a journalist what I would recommend “never” to say to someone who has depression. That’s a very good question. In my recent book When Someone You Know Has Depression: Words to say and things to do (2016), I focus mainly on the positives. By that I mean statements that are encouraging and received well by a person in the midst of a mood disorder. Today I will turn things around and give you some examples of what doesn’t work, and why.


There are about three dozen negative comments I can think of off the top of my head, and they fall into several categories. Most family members and close friends mean well and are trying their best. It’s hard to stay positive when you are fatigued, stressed, or frustrated in dealing with the illness, but you want to avoid accidentally saying these things or blurt out snap clichés. They are not helpful to the person and often times make things worse by breaking down the trust and communication you are trying to build.


The first is to avoid saying anything that is dismissive or invalidating. Your family member who has depression has a right to his or her feelings and thoughts, even if you don’t agree with the content. When you recognize and disagree with the person’s impaired thinking, negative or distorted thoughts, don’t tell him how to think and feel. Gently show him that the errors in his logic are inconsistent with his life experiences. Instead of saying “No you don’t’”, or “How could you possibly think…” in response to something he says, it would be preferable to respond with “I hear you feel you’re ___. That must feel awful. Where do you think that comes from? What about the time___?” and offer some concrete evidence in his life that counteracts his statement.


Invalidating statements are things like “There are people worse off than you,” or “It’s all in your head.” This disregards her symptoms as being valid and imposes guilt upon the person for having them. It ignores the fact that 41,000 people who have depression died by suicide in the United States in 2015. Minimizing her thoughts and feelings by saying something like “Oh, everybody has a bad day” or “I was depressed for 3 days once” is another way of sending the message that her situation is not serious and legitimate. Another, “Don’t be so depressed,” “You have it so good – why can’t you just be happy?” or “Snap out of it” gives the message that he or she could just “will away” the illness, and dismisses it as the biologically based medical condition of the mind and body that it is.


Another category to avoid are statements that are judgmental, blaming or critical. These are comments such as “It’s your own fault,” “You’re just looking for attention,” “You need to get a job [or hobby, boyfriend, volunteer].” Or “You should get off those pills and stop seeing that quack doctor,” and “You should go to church and pray.” Try not to impose your personal opinion on your family member’s life and decisions during an episode of depression.


It is also not helpful for you to make assumptions or jump to conclusions about the person who has depression, how or what he feels or thinks, especially without the full facts. This is definitely not helpful and can ruin your relationship with him or her. One example is “You must have your period,” or “It’s PMS.” The comment “Just try a little harder” assumes that the person is not making an effort, which is also judgmental, critical and dismissive.


Here are a few additional comments in the “DON’T DO” list that you would do well to avoid.


  • Stop feeling sorry for yourself
  • Pull yourself together
  • Get your act together
  • Lighten up
  • Have you tried herbal tea? [or vitamins]
  • Just don’t think about it
  • Quit whining
  • But you look so happy all the time
  • This too will pass

And top on my list of personal disliked comments, merely saying…

“Hang in there!”

Susan J. Noonan MD, MPH is a physician and certified peer specialist, author of two books and blogs on managing depression for her own website, Psychology Today and The Huffington Post, and a patient with firsthand experience in mood disorders. Her recent book, When Someone You Know Has Depression: Words to say and things to do (JHUP 2016), is a companion to Managing Your Depression: What you can do to feel better (JHUP 2013). She can be reached at