YOU ARE NOT ALONE

Dear Paul,

First off, let me tell you that it only took me about five minutes to become a huge fan of the show. Mental illness in America is quite literally the crazy aunt in the attic that we don’t talk about, and I’m glad that you have decided to start bringing it up.

I have never had mental illness myself, but I still think of myself as a victim of it. My mother is a bipolar who hears voices, and my older brother is a bipolar who suffers from paranoid delusions.

It goes without saying that my mother’s voices never said things like “Wow! You’re doing a great job! You’re awesome!” Her voices said things like “All of your children are sick and dying,” or “We have pictures of you molesting children.”

That’s the thing about the mental illnesses in my family. They are not quiet, discrete mental illnesses. They are loud and aggressive. Everybody’s parents embarrass them when they are teenagers, but my mom embarrassed me for legitimate reasons and not overdramatized teenaged ones.  She would do things like stand up and start screaming at school board meetings, or accuse my teachers of selling me drugs at parent teacher conferences. The “up” part of my mom’s bipolar disorder wasn’t fueled by happiness and optimism. It was angry, and paranoid, and fueled by the conviction that someone was actively hurting her or her family. The “down” cycle was pretty standard, I guess. She would burst into wracking sobs at …

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Unwanted Arousal and Sexual Shame: Embracing The Shadow Side of Your Sexuality

Western society is gradually coming to think more progressively and inclusively.  That said, in spite of recent evolutionary leaps, many Westerners still have a fairly static, black-and-white image of what constitutes morally acceptable sexual appetites and behaviors.

In “Sexuality and Shame,” Carolyn Shadbolt writes, “…moral edicts about what is sinful, the chastity of women, the sanctity of marriage, the moral degeneracy of homosexuality, the superiority of male heterosexuality, the deleterious effects of masturbation, gender roles, sexist imagery, biological determinism, and so forth are part of adult consciousness …

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Thoughts I harbour when I am at my worst:

When I sleep with people, they are pretending to enjoy it. They are playing a role, and not in a sexy way, but role-playing being “normal.” They are faking intimacy.

I suspect this to be true with sexual encounters that fall under the umbrella of one-night stand and mistake, but at my worst, my most cynical, or maybe just deep down, all the way down, I believe that even the sex I have with men I date or actually like are like this.

I think sex is terrifying and absurd. In …

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Never in a million years did I ever think I’d say, “Hi. My name is KJ and my partner has bipolar disorder.” And no, it’s not the bipolar partner part that surprises me- it’s that I would share this information with a bunch of strangers in a support group.  How did I get here???

I struggle with what to tell, if anything, of my partner’s story because it’s not mine to tell.  But her story is why I sought support, so I think it’s important to share some of it.  My girlfriend told me early into our relationship that she …

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I do?

                                                                                                                                                                       By Jessica Levith, MA

Vowing to share the rest of your life with another human being is one of the biggest decisions a person can make. In the weeks, months, or sometimes even years leading up to a ceremony, a very natural excitement starts to build. Your friends and family jump into the planning pool, cross-country plane tickets are purchased, and a Venn diagram of harm-reduction seating arrangements are made. The pressure of excitement is on to make sure that you and your partner’s special day is …

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Two years ago I was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome, which is on the lighter end of the Autism Spectrum.  I’ve been told my case is very mild, but it is very clearly there nonetheless.  My friend had told me, years before, that he thought I might have this condition.  He sat with me and made me take an online test, as he did with several others.  I’m certain he has Asperger’s, maybe worse than I do.  My results were pretty neutral because he had input that affected the honesty of my answers.  Later, I took the same test by myself, …

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