Pregnancy Loss Resources: An email between Dr. Zucker and a listener

07/28/2014 In Guest Blog By Paul Gilmartin

Pregnancy Loss Resources: An email between Dr. Zucker and a listener

This is a poignant communication between myself, a guest who goes by “G” and Dr. Jessica Zucker (a therapist and former guest)

Dr. Zucker,

My first son died unexpectedly one week before his due date. It has been five months and I’m so deep in grief and guilt and shame, I don’t see a way out and can’t see how I could ever have been a good mother since I am handling this all so poorly.

“G”

Here is what Dr. Zucker wrote to her.

I am incredibly sorry for your recent loss. You must be experiencing incredible amounts of pain and mind-numbing disbelief.

Have you received any therapeutic support since your loss? If not, would you be interested in pursuing some help in an effort to process the grief and heartache? I would be happy to help you find a seasoned psychologist– please let me know what city you live in or where the closest city might be to you and I will do my best to find you support.

Thank you for reaching out to Paul and requesting that we discuss stillbirth on his podcast. I think that is a brilliant idea, as 1 in 170 pregnancies end in stillbirth. Too many women and families are suffering from this excruciating experience. There is not enough discussion about it in our culture which perpetuates feelings of isolation, shame, guilt, confusion, depression, anxiety, etc.

In the meantime, here are some resources that might be helpful–

http://returntozerothemovie.com/blog/helpful-links/

http://returntozerothemovie.com/blog/

http://www.marchofdimes.com/loss/stillbirth.aspx

http://www.nationalshare.org/support-resources.html

http://www.fitpregnancy.com/pregnancy/labor-delivery/ask-labor-nurse/minnie-driver-movie-talks-about-stillbirth-should-everyone

http://americanpregnancy.org/pregnancyloss/sbsurvivingemotionally.html

It makes me so sad that people who are grieving so immensely are made to feel even more alone by the lack of cultural conversation. It’s shocking. I had a miscarriage when I was 15 weeks pregnant and have never felt so raw, alone, and under supported in my life. And I had a lot of support! It’s partly due to the fact that not enough people are talking about their pain and people fear addressing these very real issues.

If you’d like to read about my experience, here’s something I wrote.

https://medium.com/human-parts/when-what-you-specialize-in-happens-to-you-a593569ed49f

Also, you might want to log onto Medium.com and follow collections related to grieve, loss, pregnancy complications, etc.

Telling a Story of Stillbirth

http://www.amazon.com/They-Were-Still-Born-Stillbirth/dp/1442204125

I wrote the introduction for this book last year —

http://www.amazon.com/Sunshine-After-Storm-Survival-Grieving-ebook/dp/B00FSX5OEQ

Life Touches Life: A Mother’s Story of Stillbirth and Healing

http://www.amazon.com/Empty-Arms-Coping-Miscarriage-Stillbirth/dp/0960945660

http://www.goodreads.com/shelf/show/stillbirth

http://pregnancy.about.com/od/pregnancybooksvideos/tp/aa030203a.htm

A recent podcast —